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| My mother |
The history of the eulogy is not Christian. It is a tradition handed down, or copied, from the Greeks and subsequently adopted by different cultures and peoples.
Too often, we misunderstand or misuse the eulogy. There is a purpose for it, but most times we lose direction with it.
What do I mean?
A eulogy is an opportunity to give guidance or direction to the descendants and those affected by the deceased. Even a stranger can learn from a well-written eulogy.
A eulogy is a speech or written tribute delivered in honour of a person who has died. It normally takes place at a funeral, memorial service, wake or celebration of life.
But that does not mean that only positive things should be spoken of the individual. That would be a misinterpretation of the person's life and, ultimately, of the purpose of a eulogy.
From a biblical perspective, there should be hope, and there should be the glorification of God.
DEFINITION
A eulogy is much more than a speech about someone who has died. At its best, it is an act of remembrance, interpretation, honour and communal healing.
There is a distinction worth making:
A eulogy is much more than a speech about someone who has died. At its best, it is an act of remembrance, interpretation, honour and communal healing.
The word itself comes from the Greek eulogia, meaning “good words” or “speaking well of someone.” That gives us an important clue about its original purpose: a eulogy is not primarily a biography of the deceased. It is an intentional act of speaking about a person's life in a way that helps the living understand and remember it.
The “good words” are not simply words that make the person look good. They are words that make good—or give meaning—to the words used to describe that person's life.
Consider someone who dies after being imprisoned for a crime. There is a lesson in that life: crime does not pay. Meaning is given to what happened.
The people who knew the individual most closely should be able to give context to the person's actions and words, or to their way of thinking, so that others can understand who that person was and why they did what they did.
There is a distinction worth making:
A eulogy is not an obituary.
An obituary generally tells people that a person died and what happened during their life—birth, education, career, family, achievements, survivors and funeral arrangements.
A eulogy asks different questions. It also helps to bring resolution to the wider community as well as the immediate family.
An obituary generally tells people that a person died and what happened during their life—birth, education, career, family, achievements, survivors and funeral arrangements.
A eulogy asks different questions. It also helps to bring resolution to the wider community as well as the immediate family.
What should a eulogy achieve? I would say there are five major things a good eulogy should accomplish:
1. It should honour the person.
This person's life mattered as an individual.
2. It should help people remember.
3. It should give meaning to the life.
It should place the person's life in the context of the community in which they lived and offer an interpretation of the life of the deceased.
4. It should help the living grieve.
5. It should provide closure—or at least a path forward.
It should do this through shared memory and by bringing clarity to the actions and words spoken by the person. It can help explain their driving force.
HISTORICAL BACKGROUND
Similar examples can be found in the tributes people make to heroes who pass away. We say, “He was a son of the soil,” or “She was a daughter of the soil.”
As human beings, they contributed to human life, which continues after their death.
The Romans developed their own important tradition known as the laudatio funebris—the funeral oration. Among aristocratic Roman families, speeches could celebrate the ancestry, accomplishments and virtues of the deceased.
These speeches were not simply expressions of private grief. They could reinforce the family's honour, social standing and values.
The funeral therefore became a public presentation of identity.
Remember the person and proclaim hope.
This is why many Christian funeral services distinguish between mourning the deceased and proclaiming the faith to the community.
The Bible helps us put the eulogy in context:
“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
— Proverbs 3:6
And:
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
— Romans 6:23
The Greeks had a tradition of public speeches honouring the dead, and one of the most famous examples is Pericles' Funeral Oration, recorded by the historian Thucydides in his account of the Peloponnesian War.
That speech is fascinating because it demonstrates that, historically, funeral speeches were not always the intimate tributes that we practise in modern times.
Pericles used the occasion of mourning the Athenian dead to speak about the values of Athens itself.
In other words, the deceased became a vehicle through which the living community reflected upon itself.
Funeral speech has historically been about both the individual and the community. The individual was an example of the output of the community from which they came.
As human beings, they contributed to human life, which continues after their death.
The Romans developed their own important tradition known as the laudatio funebris—the funeral oration. Among aristocratic Roman families, speeches could celebrate the ancestry, accomplishments and virtues of the deceased.
These speeches were not simply expressions of private grief. They could reinforce the family's honour, social standing and values.
The funeral therefore became a public presentation of identity.
Christianity transformed the tradition by adding another significant dimension. The Christian funeral introduced the idea that death should be understood within a larger theological story—death, resurrection, eternal life, judgement, hope and the promise of being reunited with God.
Consequently, Christian funeral addresses have often attempted to accomplish two things at the same time:
Remember the person and proclaim hope.
This is why many Christian funeral services distinguish between mourning the deceased and proclaiming the faith to the community.
The Bible helps us put the eulogy in context:
“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
— Proverbs 3:6
And:
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
— Romans 6:23
The deceased person's life is remembered. We acknowledge the ways of the deceased and allow that testimony of life to guide us. We allow the person's life to draw us closer to God because the eulogy is part of the funeral service and serves as a testimony to God's word unfolded in a person's life. We prove that in death we see God's word is real in Romans 6:23 for we all are sinners and fall short of the glory except through Christ.
The funeral must ask and answer the larger questions:
- What do you believe about death?
- Where will you spend eternity?
The temptation in writing a eulogy is to be completely positive. But that can actually diminish the humanity of the person. The good or bad of that person's life loses meaning when it is whitewashed. The deceased had tears, joys and a thinking process to back up the things they did, we should not belittle it by forgetting about it either. This would be cancel culture. We must give it a moral value.
I think in some ways the Bible is like a eulogy of mankind. The risk in focusing only on the good things or down right lying to claim good of someone can be seen in the Gnostic beliefs about Jesus. They diminish Jesus's humanity by focusing on miracles that is said (not proven) to have been performed in His childhood, but in so doing they undervalue the death, burial and resurrection of Christ. The end result is that the price paid for our sins is of reduced value.
By representing the deceased with dishonesty or in a puerile or childish manner, we risk leaving wounds open and we enable generational curses and cycles to continue. Hurts fester, and chaos can ultimately become the end result.
THE EULOGY AND THE RESURRECTION OF LAZARUS
The lesson we learn from the resurrection of Lazarus (John 11) is that Jesus glorified the Father by performing the miracle. He said, “It is for God's glory.” But He added that it was also “so that God's Son may be glorified through it.”
Jesus wanted to demonstrate to the people that resurrection is possible and to give them a recent example of it, so that they would be more inclined to believe in His own resurrection, which would come soon after.
His disciples, misunderstood what He had said and Jesus replied:
“Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe.”
Added to this, He said to Martha:
“I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
To the attendees at a Christian funeral, the eulogy asks this same question:
“Do you believe?”
The hope is in spending eternity with Christ—or be condemned without Him.
In Him is life. Without Him is death.
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
— Romans 6:23
This account of the raising of Lazarus from the dead is an important aspect of Christian beliefs. It is about life, death and eternity. Even in death we must glorify God, we must prove God and draw others to Christ. Jesus shows us that here. A funeral is an opportunity to spread the gospel and even in death we belong to Christ because He paid the price for it. I will post more on the eulogy in Part 2.
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